In February, during the cold winter weather, the village of Ballston Spa hosted its sixth annual Chocolate Festival on a Friday evening. Twenty store owners and businesses cleverly created chocolate masterpieces in a dessert, savory, or beverage category, including hot chocolate, chocolate mousse, truffles, candy, cupcakes, empanadas, and a variety of other delicious treats. The next day ushered in the twenty-first annual Saratoga’s Chowder Fest—an event our family has attended since its inception in 1998—featuring over 90 participating vendors with a variety of soups and chowders, including vegetable, seafood, chicken, beef, creamy, and spicy options. Bundled up like Eskimos, Mike, Matt, and I gingerly wandered the snow and ice of the city streets, paying one dollar for each sample serving. We didn’t stay for long because it was cold, the sidewalks were crowded, and there was a lot of walking between stops. But it was fun.

Although Matt most often relies on our guidance, the tides were slowly changing. Now he gets up, lays out his clothes, and gets set up in the bathroom. When I check in, he's ready for his shower, requiring dwindling hands-on assistance. He is learning how to cut his fingernails. In the evening, he most often completes his entire bedtime routine independently, including all the steps involved in brushing his teeth. For the last step, he turns on a night light long enough to close his door, turn the overhead light off, hop into bed, and finally turn off the nightlight.

Household responsibilities include setting and clearing the dining room table, preparing his breakfast or lunch, unloading the dishwasher, vacuuming his bedroom, and assisting with dinner preparations, such as stuffing manicotti shells and making salads. He has been folding his clean laundry for some time. To gradually involve him more in the laundry cycle, I now carry his dirty clothes to the basement and then escort him down the stairs to load the washing machine and add detergent. Later, we return to transfer the clothes to the dryer. Once the cycle is complete, we bring his clean laundry back upstairs for him to fold.

Right-hand grasp and fine-motor control are slowly improving, as is evident by his ability to squeeze grapefruit juice, use a computer mouse, a corkscrew, and binoculars. Matt also made homemade Easter cards for his family members, wrote five thank-you notes, and addressed the envelopes, but I still wrote out the text for him to copy. His printing is more legible, and his speed has increased. Additionally, he occasionally clears snow off cars and does light shoveling. This natural progression of taking on more duties is exciting and essential for increasing his ability to follow through independently and ultimately assume even greater accountability.

In Mom’s Boot Camp, I continually introduce new activities to build on his progress. I’ve incorporated TheraBand exercises to improve leg strength and balance, as well as stair climbing and activities that require speed and agility. He spends time practicing various yoga poses and stretches, such as kneeling, sitting cross-legged, hugging his knees, and stretching on his stomach. On hands and knees, Matt also works on core engagement by tightening his abs and tucking his pelvis while lifting one leg or arm, or even opposite arms and legs simultaneously. I have been unable to convince Matt of the benefits of exercising on the NordicTrack. Even if just for one minute, it would train his legs to work equally and reciprocally! He, however, remains adamantly opposed to using it and loudly expresses his dislike, and I acquiesce.

Fortunately, Uncle Dan has lent us a rowing machine and an arm/leg bike, and Matt is quite content to row and watch TV for 20 minutes. We hope these activities will help him burn calories and manage his weight. After having been a skeletal 118 pounds—truly skin and bones—he now weighs 12 pounds more than his usual healthy weight. This increase is largely due to our plentiful home cooking and insufficient calorie burning. His exercise routine at the Wellness Gym, which includes using the treadmill and bicycle ergometer, also specifically addresses this issue.

Chef Matthew cooked hot dogs for us for lunch, made tea, and assisted with smoking beef briskets—a welcome sign that spring and warm weather were on their way. Matt, previously a pro at smoking pulled pork, beef brisket, and baby back ribs, even gave me instructions on how to regulate the smoker's temperature.

In addition to social events, we are actively encouraging Matt to participate in volunteer work. Theoretically, this will benefit Matt both personally and socially, as he interacts with people he may know or not, those he serves alongside, and those he came to serve. This kind of work will also incorporate purposeful physical activities. His first effort was volunteering at the food pantry in my church, where he helped stock the shelves alongside one of my dear friends and a faithful cheerleader of Matt’s cause.

Periodically, I need to step back and regroup. While there have been many successes with Matt's recovery, it's easy for frustration to creep in when I think about how slowly he learns tasks like brushing his teeth and taking a shower. Some days he grasps components of the sequence, while other days he doesn't, and the blank look on his face when he can't figure out how to dispense shampoo pulls me right off my soapbox. I challenge myself to shift my focus from the minute details and see the bigger picture of the enormous challenge we've taken on. It reminds me of a scene from Bedknobs and Broomsticks, starring Angela Lansbury, which makes a good visual for bringing the dead back to life—in her case, dead bones; in ours, a lifeless Matt.

© 2025, Sarah Watkins